‘This is the Nike SPARQ version of the Yo-yo intermittent recovery test, level two.’ For most players (thankfully, not myself), this one line of dialogue is enough to cause cold sweats, shivers, dizziness, nausea, and vomiting. It’s the kind of side effects that you usually only hear at the end of a pharmaceutical advertisement, when you think to yourself, why would anyone want to take that willingly. At its best, the beep test can scare players into running their butts off a